Not sure if I’m failing at mommy-dom and law school and my life is completely falling apart…or I’m just really really tired.
My 1L year was more than a shock to my system. I received my first C in a class, I cried more than once in the library and nearly had a panic attack when I handed in my final writing assignment…and might have actually had one before oral arguments.
I still twitch a little when I see the letters A, L, W and D together.
But we’re past that now…this is 2L. A whole new kind of torture…I mean a whole new adventure…yeah, that’s what I meant.
This week, has been complete crap. I have three major assignments to complete this week on top of all of the regular required reading and research. And for some added fun, I have pneumonia and bronchitis (I had no idea those could happen together). I’m now a super cool law school nerd with an inhaler.
Super nerd powers activate!
When I went to the doctor he said I needed to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night and get as much rest during the day as I could. I laughed at him. I seriously tried not to, but I couldn’t help it. I think I can squeeze in 8 hours total this week if I skip part of my reading for Thursday…or I pretend I don’t have kids to keep alive.
Anyway…the reason for this post…
In the last year or so I’ve had quite a few non-law school friends and family ask why I don’t seem to come to events or outings as much, or why I don’t call as often, or why I don’t seem to have seen any of the recent awesome movies, festivals or things on television. So I decided to write down how my average day goes…this should help clear things up.
Or at least make more than a few of you truly start to question my sanity.
6:30 a.m. – Alarm goes off.
6:31 a.m. – Threaten alarm, curse at its incessant whooping, punch alarm in throat (use your imagination)…alarm ignores my strength and continues singing the song of its people.
6:32 a.m. – Contemplate filing a lawsuit against the estate of whoever invented the alarm clock for infliction of emotional distress.
6:40 a.m. – After spending the only free time I will get checking Facebook on my phone while I pee…begin attempts at waking the minions.
6:41 a.m. – Realize shorter minion has been up for at least an hour and has spread Cheerios throughout most of apartment. Make mental note to clean up the mess “when I get time” (aka…never…let’s home one of the kids gets hungry enough to do it for me)
7:15 a.m. – Finally succeed in getting larger minion showered, dressed and off to the school bus. First win of the day!!
7:20 a.m – Take fastest shower in history while mentally going over what reading you need to go over again before class today…suddenly realize I forgot to read that one case for that one class that has that one professor that is sure to cold call me today.
7:22 a.m. – Have mini panic attack about forgotten reading.
7:24 a.m. – Realize it’s actually Monday and I don’t have that one class with that one professor until tomorrow.
7:40 a.m. – Complete Miracle Number One!! Shorter minion and myself are both dressed and ready for the day. Take minion to wait for school bus.
8:05 a.m. – Wake Husband so he can drive me to court/class/volunteering (depending on day). Ignore Husband’s repeated requests for ‘five more minutes’. I think it might have been his day to sleep in…it is after 8 though…I should at least get points for waiting this long…I think…
8:30 a.m. – Since it’s Monday…arrive at court house and spend next ten minutes fighting with the stupid freaking hand scanner that never remembers what my hand looks like and refuses to let me through the side door. Briefly consider waiting in mile long security line to get in…spend slightly longer time considering how much force it would take to break through door.
8:45 a.m. – Evil hand scanner finally lets me in!! Do a small dance of victory. A weekly dance that the armed Sheriff’s deputies at security get a good giggle out of…you’re welcome guys.
9:00 a.m. – Begin observing court…realize again that there are horrid people in this world and they just keep coming…consider leaving law school to pursue art….somewhere in middle of third case remember I can’t draw, consider being a stripper…middle of fourth case realize I am fat and cannot dance, consider career as circus performer….five minutes before end of docket it dawns on me that both my house and the legal field are actual circuses…I am already a circus performer….sweet. No…crap.
Noon – High tail it back to campus to go over reading before class begins in a little over an hour. Get to library and realize I have grabbed container of minion’s Count Chocula instead of adult food snacks. Eat them anyway. Make mental note to make this mistake again tomorrow. Yum.
1:30 p.m. – Arrive at class… at least I think this is the class I have today…yeah…pretty sure this is right.
1:45 p.m. – 4:15 p.m. – Somehow make it through two classes without falling asleep. Win!! I think I earned a nap on the bus ride home!!
4:16-4:28 p.m. – Return calls from shorter minion’s school telling me that he tried to flee the classroom again. Try very, very hard to not snap at school official for not following Autistic child’s education plan…again. Snap at school official anyway. Not nearly as sorry as I maybe should be.
4:29 p.m. – Climb onto bus home…debate whether I should sit next to very smell hippy or in back with the dozen or so high school kids. Sit next to hippy. I value my sanity more than my sense of smell, and honestly, this is Eugene.
4:40 p.m. – Bid goodbye to new hippy friend and make my way to our apartment.
4:42 – 5:30 p.m. – Step on pile of Cheerios when I walk in the door. Cuss at the empty room for not cleaning while I was gone. Read. Read some more.
5:35 p.m. – Alarm goes off reminding me to retrieve minions from daycare. For real though, if it weren’t for the alarm, I would forget to pick them up four days a week.
5:45 p.m. – Minions are home. (awesome accident when we moved here…daycare is literally right outside our door…thank you baby Jesus) Realize again that our apartment is WAY too small for two minions and my sanity to survive in. Way, way too small.
6:00 p.m. – Realize that minions haven’t eaten a dinner that wasn’t packaged or frozen in the last ten days and I should really make dinner.
6:05 p.m. – Yeah…I also need to go shopping fridge is pretty devoid of life…Frozen pizza it is.
6:45 p.m. – When wrestling smaller minion into the bath notice that he went to school in my socks this morning…pink ones…with little penguins. Awesome.
7:30 p.m. – Elder minion begins his nightly ‘increase in allowance’ negotiations. Goes something like this…
A wild Nicholas appears
Wild Nicholas uses “My chores are super hard!”
It has no effect.
Wild Nicholas uses “You owe me!!”
But it failed!
Mom is now angry.
Mom uses “Would you like to be grounded?”
It is super effective!
8:00 p.m. – Ultimate bedtime resistance kicks in with younger minion. Bedtime success after 40-minute refusal to lie down. Notice new chip in wall from child banging toy against wall during ultimate bedtime resistance.
8:45 p.m – 11:30 p.m. – Read for next day’s classes. Most of my reading has already been done during breaks, over the weekend or on one of the two mornings I don’t have class, but I try to go over my readings again the night before. Remind self that I need to start that paper. Read some more. Consider taking a ‘break’ to wash dishes. Read more…
(somewhere around 9:30 Husband returned home from work…I assume…at least I hope that’s who I heard walk in the door…I couldn’t risk looking up from my case book, too risky to chance my brain resetting in the middle of a Scalia dissent)
11:32 p.m. – Move to couch to finish reading…promise self I won’t fall asleep on couch this time.
11:35 p.m. – Fall asleep on couch.
12:03 p.m. – Wake up on couch. Wipe drool off of face and promise myself it won’t happen again.
12:17 p.m. – Fall asleep on couch. Again.
Mystery nighttime hour – Wake up on couch. Wipe drool off of face and promise myself it won’t happen again. Go into bedroom and shove Husband over so I can fall into the most comfortable bed in existence. (Let’s be honest though…at this point I could fall asleep on the concrete outside while mosquitoes eat me alive)
So this is why I can’t make it to that thing this week.
I still love you…I just also love sleep and not failing at the education I am literally paying a small fortune for.
This semester I have managed to pack in every family law related class I could, a super demanding seminar class and because I really like pain, a clinic. With the exception of one class, all of them center on family law and/or domestic violence…not the most uplifting of class schedules, but that’s where my passion is, it’s what reminds me every day why I went to law school.
Just be patient with me. Right now I have this super hard, super time consuming thing going on. But it won’t last forever.
I am surviving. Maybe more than surviving.
And as painful as my first year or so of law school has been, I wouldn’t trade the experience for the world.
I have learned more in the last twelve months than I ever thought I would.
I’ve got stronger, smarter and so much more confident in myself.
I met some of the smartest people I have ever known. I am now friends with people who have and will continue to change the world in so many amazing ways. I am a better person from knowing them, studying with them, learning from them, crying in Shari’s with them and, best of all, questioning the logic of Captain Janeway with them.
Nerd power, yo.
(side note…I’m going to try and do better at posting about how things are going from now on…I think it will help my sanity and will most likely make you laugh once or twice…or at least make you feel a little grateful for the ten minute shower you got today 😉 )